What kind of mom are you? There are many choices now to define you into a parental category, so many more choices that the groupings of old like the yuppy and the baby boomer, and yet, I find, I don’t fit any of them…
I have determined that I am a new breed of mom, an until recently undiscovered, unnamed species. I don’t really fit in to the typical categories of mom, though I share some of the qualities typical of them. Neither the soccer mom nor the helicopter mom of truly define me, the mom that I am, so I have come up with a new mom, the kind of mom I am now. But first, let’s look at the current definitions of moms the world over, see if you are one of these, or if you are with me,a new mom.
Soccer mom, as defined by wikipedia: The phrase soccer mom generally refers to a married middle-class woman who lives in the suburbs and has school age children. She is sometimes portrayed in the media as busy or overburdened and driving a minivan or SUV. She is also portrayed as putting the interests of her family, and most importantly her children, ahead of her own.
Helicopter mom as defined by wikipedia: A helicopter parent is a parent who pays extremely close attention to a child’s or children’s experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions. The term helicopter parent was originally coined by Foster Cline and Jim Fay. Helicopter parents are so named because, like helicopters, they hover overhead.
I am neither of these, as I stated, I am a bit of both, but these do not encompass all that I am as a mom. There is not enough grit and combat boots in these definitions to truly capture the mom I have become, so I have coined a new term in parenting, I am the “hawker mom” a lovely blend of the soccer mom and the helicopter mom. Has a real cachet right?!
You would say, if you saw me at the playground with my crew that I was simply an overprotective, control-freak mom, who needed to let her kid get messy and play! And I would agree with you, I am a control-freak, and overprotective, and fighting a constant battle against the child I am trying to parent, a battle to keep him safe and whole. Simply alive even would be nice some days, just simply alive!! You would watch me covertly, as you let little Jenny swing, or climb up the ladder to the slide, and shake your head, wondering why I even bring my kids to the playground, if I won’t let him swing on the bars, or jump for the zip line rope. (Some days I wonder why I bring them too, but mostly I know, it is because they love it there, he loves it there, even if I dread it, just a little, every single time.) You would not shake your head and wonder if you saw the dislocations and hyperextensions that jumping for those bars and swinging from that zip line causes, you would likely be appalled, scoop up little Jenny and head out, cause hey, there is a mom at that park that just reset her kids fingers and then let him go back to sliding and swinging!! CRAZY!!!
Nope, that is a hawker mom, that’s me. I can have a conversation with many people, and keep track of what screams are currently emanating from my Little Man’s lungs, are they cries of delight, happiness, anger, or heaven forbid soon-to-be pain and injury. I hear it all, see it all, ignore what is not life threatening, and swoop in to firmly put a stop to what will soon cause injury.
Like a mother hawk I will circle, high up, not noticed by my littles, but I see them, and am ready to dive in, to swiflty defend my young, even if that means I have to defend them/him, from himself. I am the mom that makes off limits all sorts of fun play equipment, for my own sanity, and for his protection. I am fast, and to cross me is to face a whole lotta fury. Hawks may be small, but they are deadly predators, with great accuracy, and complete fearlessness when it comes to their young, that’s me, that is what I have become, a hawker mom. I love my child and will protect him at all costs, even from himself if necessary, that is the kind of mom I have become.
Being a mom of a child with special needs requires a different set of rules I have found, it requires a resolve of steel, with a gentleness that is both protective and fierce, somedays it has to fight for, and with, the one for whom the love is intended, just to get through the day. A hawker mom does that, all while sleekly moving from place to place, watching, aware, always alert, always battle ready. It is tiring, and draining to be that mom, but the rewards, and the view looking down, seeing progress and pure enjoyment, that makes all the circling and watching, the fighting and swooping, all worth it.
I am a hawker mom, ever circling, putting my child’s needs and desires ahead of my own, but ready to swoop in at a moments notice, what kind of mom are you? Do you fit the mold of motherhood, or have your children defined, and redefined the type of parent you are, and have become.